I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
