Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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