Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
