My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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