if i can run in heels then i can drive
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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