i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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