so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
