glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
