lets start a swedish sibling band together
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
