do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
