yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
