he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
