It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
