what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
