like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
