You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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