she was so not down for the gang bang
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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