Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
