Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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