she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The convent might be a nice break from real life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
