I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
