i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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