some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
