Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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