A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
