i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
