Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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