oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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