There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
