her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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