hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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