That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
