I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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