he puts the penis in happiness.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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