Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
