We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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