I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
