Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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