Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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