somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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