there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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