his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
