took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
