Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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