His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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