Barsexuality is the new black.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
