i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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