I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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