I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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