office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
