Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
