ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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