Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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