garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
