Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
