I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
