There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
